If there is one thing I know for sure is that life will never cease to surprise us, teach us, shake us, push us, ground us, break us, love us.
🎧 Listen on Spotify​​ / ​Apple​ — reflection at the end.
And in those moments where it’s easier to look at all the things that aren’t settled yet, that aren’t clear, that aren’t fully out in the world, look for your care bears.
Growing up, I loved the Care Bears cartoon. I didn’t get much time to watch TV but when I did, something about those chubby little colorful cartoon bears with a rainbow on their bellies expressing all kinds of emotions, always made me smile.
Even in adulthood, when I wanted to start expressing more of the myriad of my thoughts & emotions, I began to wear more color, speak with more color, and even found a Care Bear set that I wore on almost every single flight that year, and I flew a lot.
At first, I wore it for me, as an ode to younger me who didn’t really get much time to be a kid before she needed to grow up and be responsible for others. Then, everywhere I went, adults of all ages began to smile and many commented on how much they loved my sweater.
Some people don’t have their own Care Bears, they are the Care Bear in the family. The caretaker, the caregiver, the one who needs to hold it all together.
And the thing is that the ones who hold it down need their own even more.
I realized that earlier in the week, in Las Vegas, surrounded by some of the most highly accomplished, highly visible, most badass women I've come to know is that we're all carrying something that we're all too anxious to release. Whether that is the doubt that no one will care, whether it's the fear that the idea sounds so big that people will look at you funny, whether it's wanting to admit out loud that you want to be rich AF to have I Love You Money, not, Fuck You Money, because I Love You money carries better energy, it's the kind you make to take care of the people you love and to pay it forward. 💸
We're all desiring to be so successful so we can pay it forward. Imagine that, a room of the most insane women, who likely didn't have much support, much visibility, who had to break down walls to create their own space, their end goal is to make sure others don't experience that same journey, they are the care bears. And I was surrounded by them for a whole week.
Before I established this solid AF close circle of friends, that sweater represented my Care Bear. It may sound silly but it’s true. It became my own form of a security blanket. I, deemed as the strong one, was usually the one checking in, supporting, lifting others, plugging others, connecting others, seeing others, and somehow I felt isolated. I was doing a lot for others and ironically not enough for me.
As I grow more into adulthood, I realize how much we all need our own Care Bears. Whether it's a friend who can express yourself without judgement, a group of courageous women at dinner sharing their dreams out loud, a fur baby, or the thing that lights us up when nothing else seems to be clicking.
And for a while I would say stupid shit like, I don’t know who to trust. Because I felt like my lived experience, my thoughts, my dreams, my visions felt like a lot. And it wasn’t until I allowed people to see the not so polished side of me that I realized people enjoy being a Care Bear and the right people will make you feel so alive, so free that you want to spread that to others around you.
What I found is that the seasons you are given in your lifetime are the opportunities to discover more versions of you, to become so intimately connected with your emotions that you let yourself be fully seen.
Like a Care Bear who wears its rainbow right on its belly. Some seasons will make you feel like you have to carry it all alone. You don't. Find your Care Bears, the people who energetically click with you, the ones you meet and feel like you've known before. Your body will tell you, we've just learned to over-intellectualize our emotions and break them down instead of giving them room to breathe.
As each woman left Las Vegas, I'd get a text. Gratitude, what it felt like to be in that kind of space, some version of this week will change my life, and they're not wrong. Something in us shifted in that room, something chemical I hadn't felt before, maybe because for the first time I built it for me, with an equal partner, instead of for someone else and their vision.
And when you, the Care Bear build for you, with the right intention, the right energy, others can feel it. I crushed so hard on every single woman because I was in awe that somehow, the Universe orchestrated so that we could convene in one space, share the same air, exchange hugs, exchange smiles without knowing that we were being each others care bears.
I left Las Vegas feeling full. Proud. Charged. Many thought I'd be depleted, because that's what my past ventures always did to me. Not this one. When I told a friend I actually felt good, not tired, she said, that's because you are in alignment.
And while you get there, find your Care Bears. The women who will hold you when things feel uncertain. The women who even though you just met will plug you and champion you because that's what Care Bears do. They do what the moment requires. Ego is not present. Love is.
And it is my dream to keep building those experiences, those spaces for women to show the fuck off. To be held, supported, SEEN. To know that in my world, there are Care Bears. 🌈
Until the next letter,
Vanessa
P.S. Next letter I'll share the recap of Thrive & Lead, I'm still in awe of what we accomplished in less than a hundred days. I also know these letters leaned all the way into our event for a while, so thank you for your grace with that, and thank you to every woman who showed up, whether you were in the room or reading from your inbox. To those of you who found me at Thrive & Lead and are here for the first time, welcome.
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