My dad called me this week and told me he was worried about me.
๐ง Listen on Spotify / Apple โ reflection at the end.
He called to express what he sees from where he sits. And what he sees is his daughter alone in Phoenix, no family nearby, working 8-8 instead of 9-5, caring for her two boys, rebuilding a life that doesn't look like anything he has a map for.
His worry is made entirely of love. And that love speaks the language of proximity, of stability, of success that looks recognizable: a paycheck, a title, a life that fits a form that he was conditioned to believe determined success.
I tried to explain. And in our conversation I had the aha moment, the reality of building something new inside a family whose survival depended on something old.
You cannot explain a new world in the language of the old one.
So I stopped explaining and showed him instead. I pulled up the Build The Dream website, the one I built myself, over the weekend and I watched his face change.
He went quiet for a moment. Then he said: "Wow, mija. Esta heavy."
In Dominican, that means dope as hell. That means he saw my vision. ๐ฅน
I cried after we hung up.
He doesn't have to understand everything I'm building to be proud of me. And I don't have to wait for his understanding to keep building it.
๐๐ผ This is the thing nobody prepares you for when you are the first in your family to do something different.
The people who love you most will sometimes be the ones most unsettled by your becoming. I believe itโs because even though they believe in me, they are watching me in real time choose myself over and over again in a world that makes you feel like you have to be chosen to succeed. And watching me make choices that are unlike any they have made, will ask them to question their own choices as well.
Our parents survived so we could thrive.
They made choices that had nothing to do with what they wanted and everything to do with what we would need.
The least we can do with that inheritance is actually use it, to build the thing, to take the risk, to stop treating our dreams like a luxury we haven't earned yet.
๐ That is why I built the F*ck Around and Find Out Challenge. Because the survival mentality that kept our families safe is the same mentality that keeps us from putting our needs first.
And somebody has to go first. It might as well be us, together, starting July 1st.